Tantra Explained

I am a professional masseur and was always interested in the connection between body and mind, which attracted me to yoga, meditation, life coaching, Qi Kung and more recently tantra. I have been practicing and offering tantric massage for a few years now and I organise touch and wellbeing workshops for gay men. I would like to attempt to contribute to this conversation by sharing my way of seeing it. But please be aware that rather than an intellectual understanding of something, we are talking about a personal intimate experience, which is inevitably different for each person.
 

Tantra meant different things to different people in different times. Rather than the esoteric ideas of exotic Eastern philosophies what I am interested in are the practical elements of these practices and techniques. For me it’s not about subscribing to some ancient belief system, but about improving my and other people’s quality of life and wellbeing.
 

The sexual energy is a fundamental part of our being, a powerful life force that we are constantly affected by and even ruled by. We are in effect ‘programmed’ for the next orgasm.
 

Sadly many people and even masseurs see tantric massage as a fancy way of saying a massage with a hand job at the end or a sexual service. While there is nothing wrong with either, there is much more to it than that. It is an attempt to shift the context of sexuality. Instead of either suppressing it or being at the mercy of it, we seek to tap into it, harness and channel it.
 

Literally tantra means ‘weaving’ or a bringing together of the spiritual and physical. Rather than using this old-age term, which has so much weight and connotations I prefer relating to what I do as bringing mindfulness and surrender to the erotic experience. When we do that, when we can be highly aroused while deeply relaxed and aware, suddenly there is no need to get anywhere, ejaculation is not a goal to reach. We live the present moment with intensity and intimacy rarely achieved. It can be very powerful experience for people, a kind of facing one’s authentic self which was buried under layers upon layers of conditioned behaviour and protection.
 

So it’s not so much ‘what happens’ in a session, it’s more about what context we bring to it. In the massage I give I encourage and guide the person to bring a more subtle awareness to the experience as well as practice the ability to ongoingly let go. Then with deeper breathing and sensual massage strokes we bring up the level of energy in the body, and by doing so aim to facilitate intimacy (being known by another person on a subtle level of reality), ecstasy (a combination of surrender, awareness, arousal, and free self-expression), and bliss (being deeply relaxed while fully present).
 

There is a little bit more about it on my website www.touch-magic.com. Apart from the private sessions I am also organising group workshops for men in and out of London. Drop me a line if you’d like to hear more about it.
 

With wishes of peace and discovery,
 

Gil
 

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